she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
