yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
