So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
