Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize