I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
