if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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