Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
