omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
