So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
