So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
