why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
