it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
