I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
