i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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