Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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