i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
