We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
