mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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