it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found your dick twin last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
