Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
