do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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