the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
