True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
