yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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