We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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