her facebook's as public as her vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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