i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
