Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Even my vagina gasped.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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