OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So apparently I’m into choking now
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