a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
