Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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