Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
