I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
