I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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