We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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