He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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