the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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