Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
