your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
