I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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