if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
