Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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