THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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