no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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