if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sext me about skeletons
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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