you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
