I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
