I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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