I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
