If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
