using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
barbara walters just said penis...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
