that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
