Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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