I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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