Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
