summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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