So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize