who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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