so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
