I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
