Moan for me like Helen Keller
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
