My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
