you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
