dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
