Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
